Getting Along: Ramon Learns how to Resolve a ConflictTeaching children how to get along with others can be complex. One aspect of getting along with others is being able to resolve conflicts when they arise. For a child, this may involve recognizing her own feelings, understanding the feelings of others, stating how she feels, and stating what behavior you would like the other person to change. These are many steps for a young child—or even an adult—to master! Two and three year oldsTwo and three year olds are just beginning to name their feelings. At this age, they may have difficulty recognizing other people’s feelings, and may not understand the impact their actions could have on others. What you can do Four and five year oldsFour and five year olds are becoming more aware of their feelings, and can verbalize them more readily. If they have been in preschool, or in social situations with other children, they may have been in situations where strong feelings were evoked. Developmentally, they are more concerned with their own needs still. At the same time, their language skills are becoming more advanced. What you can do Six and seven year oldsSix and seven year olds should have many examples from their daily lives of situations where have not gotten along with others. Their language is developed to the point where they can articulate their feelings, as well as describe a situation more accurately. They need help finding a solution to conflicts. What you can do School aged children are presented with many situations which require conflict resolution. They will hurt others’ feelings and their feelings will also be hurt. When your child’s feelings are hurt, discuss the situation with your child, and ask him or her to describe what the other child did. Then ask, “How did you feel when this happened?” Next, ask the child what he would like the other child to do, i.e. ‘stop calling me names,’ or ‘saying mean things about me.’ Teach your child the steps of conflict resolution: 1) When someone hurts your feelings, tell them how you feel. (‘I feel sad when….’) 2) Figure out what you want the other person to do (‘Stop saying mean things’). 3) Ask the person to say they are sorry. A note about bullying: |